I read a number of articles recently and watched some of the telecasts on the Indian channels, on India turning 61. The Indian media hype was as usual, hyped up.
There is the usual celeb interviews (of course it is of paramount importance to India and her future, what the latest Bollywood idiot thinks of 1947 and Independence Day) :
"Sir, aapko kya lagta hai? India aaj 61 saal ki ho gayi hai."
"Sir aap kaise celebrate kar rahe hain - this year's Independence Day?"
The Govinda or the Ranbir-bunny-boy would adjust his hair, put on his cutest smile and say:
"Bahut achcha lag raha hai. Humne bahut tarakki kar li hai in salon mein. Dekhiye aaj Bollywood global ho gaya hai."
Beautiful. Sums up 61 years beautifully and aptly. What more do you expect from a Bollywood idiot?
Otherwise the media would hound some unsuspecting, troubled soul as he goes about his strangling, household chore, having given in to his nagging wife's unceasing command - "Go, get some maach from the bazaar".
No sooner has he crossed the hazardous street that a pseudo-intellectual-looking girl emerges from nowhere, brandishing her left hand, deftly pushing away other noise (oh the by-standers who immediately throng any such media appearance) from her prey. She zooms in at alarming speed, thrusts the mic into the troubled man's face.
Before he has a chance to react or even realize what is on:
"Hello...aapko kya lagta hai? Kal India ka 61st birthday hai"?
What does she expect the poor man to say?
Recount the last 61 years of history which every kid has to painfully study to clear his/her Board exams?
Recount the progression of Bollywood from Prithviraj Kapoor to the latest Kapoor boy?
Tell her how much easier life has become for him since he lost his Independence, read got married?
Tell her how much, simply how much Indian media has progressed from the gloomy, murky Doordarshan days of 1980 to the approximately 300 channels that have popped up out of nowhere to hound the common man in such cavalier fashion?
Maybe the common man can recount all of the above and more. But all he manages is a shy smile. Come forth the camera man right behind this lady wearing the Kal-Tak badge and he turns into a different creature.
At times he says "Pata nahin", scratching his head vigorously.
At times he says "Bahut achcha lag raha hai. Hum independent hain" and shoots his best smile at the camera.
At times he probably manages to utter "Biwi, tum hi kuch batao na..." staring like the toad-proper into the camera.
But the best part of this that I like is the 500-odd people who gheraofy the poor man at the center of it all. They push, they jostle with each other, even putting their arms around the guy being interviewed, some smiling at the camera, some winking at the girl doing the interview, some acting like disciplinarians in dictating how others around should behave, some simply standing there - clueless about what is happening.
When I saw a number of these being telecast on some of the Indian channels, I really had to go for a beer. I was actually slightly upbeat about the 61st Indian Independence Day celebrations. Was even thinking of heading for the flag hoisting at the Indian Consulate in downtown Toronto.
But having watched the media representation of India's independence, having watched all the Ranbirs, the Bipashas, the Rahuls, the Ramus, the Gitas and the Sitas give their esteemed views, the media treating it as if it were a post-match or a movie analysis, I somehow lost track of it all.
The beer provided the much needed solace.
Happy 61st year India!
