He is just a friend yaar!

All this love-shove business amidst all the V-Day hype have been wreaking havoc amongst my gray cells, coupled with the number of extramarital affairs I have heard of in the recent past, that too in the pyare families of my pyare dosts. Chill guys. What is wrong with desis today? The cool and chillaxed Victorias, Amandas, Natashas were expected to have trudged and stomped that path of all the extras. Lekin socho zara - the Renukas, Piyalis, Mitalis have thrown the chooris at the faces of their Rahuls, Shankars, Abhijits and are out in open revolt now. So have the Sonalis dished out a similar dish to the Kelkars and the Bhattawadekars.

Aaila. Kya Mirchi hai.

Seriously. Something has happened to desis in the Americas. Ok, before you knock me out with that belan in your hand, let me tell you that I am not siding with any Rahul or Shankar here. Desi men have a long history of extreme finesse as goes the wolf-whistles. What was hitherto sort of unknown was the frequency of desi cat-calls leading to several cat-fights in the open ring of Desi Life, with other desi onlookers watching agape of course.

It was only recently that I stumbled upon a survey of Indian professionals in which a whopping 34% said it was ok to chill with your office colleagues to move up the corporate seedi. The survey sort of reminded me of the Snake and Ladder game I used to play in childhood. The survey made me believe there were plenty of beautiful snakes in the Indian corporate industry. They almost assure us that there is no dearth of the snake charmers in there too.

So when some white man tells me India is still a land of the snake charmers, I chuckle to myself, nod silently, shake my head in some feeble protest.

"Depends Steve, it all depends", I say.

Which brings us to the all important question. What is this flirting in the first place, which inadvertently lead to this unwanted and unadopted relationship and shook everything from the bedroom to the boardroom? Umm.

Most women I have known have been well aware when a guy flirts with them. They gradually get used to it to a point when the pest becomes a deemed dost, when they can simply shrug off all his "harmless" flirts/advances with a "Cmon, he is just a friend yaar". Really? And at the same time, while loving all the attention from the rodent, they would usually be impudent enough to express some form of annoyance towards all the attention they get. Everyone likes appreciation, but when in a relationship, the wise one always knows where to draw the line. Getting sweet SMS-es and/or messages from an ex maybe perfectly alright to some cool ones, it maybe too hot to handle for others. Then there are the ones that are given the spin of "a true friendship" over an ex-love, with the ex constantly trying to revive the spurned lover with his/her cheekiness and the true friendship stance. I long gave up understanding those. The way you are inherently, probably defines your attitude towards this whole way of living. Whatever it is, take the onus upon yourself and be well prepared to face the consequences on the morrow. Rarely have I seen one indulge in this high-adrenalin race of grace, embrace, trace and not shed a drop in remorse later. So pssst....just KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid!!). Of course, everyone is a friend in these sublimely divine times. Sigh, you got me wrong there, didn't you?

To guys, it never matters, so long as the life form in question happens to be female. Be it your ex with whom you have probably broken up and vowed to move on, be it someone's girlfriend, a girl is a girl. Never should you as a guy let a chance pass by. What is this constipated thing called a principle anyways? Only beavers have a conscience. The cool kids "Just Do It". Welcome to Generation Y.

I agree, there is this friendship angle that can really complicate things and wash two souls away to the pure shores of Eden. Some swear by honest friendship even with their exes or colleagues. We all know where it all ends in an age when people don't even seem to be true to their siblings or even themselves. I guess, the question really is, how peaceful do you want to be in life? If you have the energy for all the fun and the complexities that could arise, then jump right ahead. Else watch our beloved Shahrukhs and Hrithiks spell it all out for you in the comfort of your HT.

Given the state of things propagated by our dearest internet sites (Orkut, Facebook - need we say more?) I won't be surprised to find desi joint (or disjointed) families of ex-present-n-future-partners popping up on these sites soon with their intricate, mind-boggling web of cross-connections, ex-entanglements, misunderstandings, pseudo-friendships, work connections sprinkled with more than a healthy dose of personal-life-glitter etc.

Which reminds me of this one-liner I once heard: "Mr. Fortune knocks on your door only once. If you ignore him he will send his daughter Ms.Fortune". Many a male face lights up instantly and involuntarily at the thought of a certain Miss popping by, only for the countenance to drop as easily as realization dawns. I want to gift that one liner to many a family right now.

I would like to dedicate the post to a person I fondly call The Boss - Jagjit Singh Ji, the ghazal maestro. I have been a very ardent fan of his for many years now and the respect has only grown over the years. Feb 8th was his birthday. And let me tell you one little secret here - if you thought his ghazals are what I die for, you are very wrong. I did start with his ghazals and went totally ga-ga over them, but I love his bhajans much more. Ah, calls for a totally new post.

But before that, please enjoy. Cheers!

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